Sunday, November 20, 2011

To Minnesota and back again


It's super weird being alone right now. It kind of reminds me of the deployment except I'm missing one thing that was a great source of comfort to me while Adam was gone. . .


Fortunately I'm so insanely exhausted from trying to get home for 13 hours yesterday.

"Between noon and 8:00pm yesterday a brutal snowstorm hit central Minnesota resulting in 400 vehicle accidents, 50 injuries, and 1 fatality."

It started with leaving white bear lake at 2:00pm. Arrived at the airport close to 3. Roads were OK. . . I've seen worse. At least we made it there.

I thought I'd be ready to leave Adam for a few days after our 6+ weeks of reunion. . . but I really wasn't. It made me SO sad to leave- but at the same time I was DESPERATE to get back to California.

Of course I was randomly "flagged" at security (the sarcasm is because I accidentally brought a police baton through security on our flight TO Minnesota several days earlier. . . turns out they are illegal in California so everyone was in a tizzy and I was nearly arrested. Not fun). SO, I don't think there was anything random about being "flagged" while trying to fly out of MSP.

I guess I should be happy I wasn't strip searched, BUT at least that would have been done in PRIVATE. No, instead I had every inch of my body touched with loads of thanksgiving travelers watching as they went past. It was really wonderful. (Not).

After my super suspicious costco ugg's were triple tested for dangerous chemicals, every inch of my purse and bag checked and rechecked and re-x-rayed. . . I was FINALLY able to go to my gate.

Good thing I had gotten to the airport early!

Then the flight ended up being delayed for 3 hours. This is just one reason I hate the @#$@%(#*& snow. Call me a "snow hater" I don't care. Maybe some people don't mind growing up with White Christmases. . . thanksgivings. . . halloweens. . . even Easters. Maybe some don't mind shoveling, scraping, brushing, shivering. . . Maybe some don't mind having it hurt to breath because it's so @#$@#%(*& cold. Maybe they don't mind having plans be ruined, delayed, canceled due to weather etc. And you know what? That's awesome. I'm glad some (a lot of) people don't mind (maybe even ENJOY) these things. That's truly fabulous- I really do mean that.


And that's OK. God made us different. . . we enjoy different things. I think that's great and I'm happy for people who enjoy certain things even if I really do despise those things (a lot).

The point is it ended up taking forever for me to get out of Minnesota mostly thanks to the snow. Long story short, it took 13 painful hours before I was able to rest my head on my pillow and find sweet rest in my own bed.

I really did enjoy getting to see friends and family. Even though it was quick, brief visits since most of our trip was consumed with preparing the rest of our crap to be moved out here, it was really nice. And it was nice to have a good reminder of just what "cold" really is. I didn't even put on my coat to go get the mail today and I didn't even shiver. I have a refreshed appreciation for my new life in California and I'm quite happy for that.

Now of course I am sitting alone in our apartment. . . wondering if the road trip crew (Adam, Bryn, David, & Mercedes) have made it to Wyoming yet. That's about the 1/2 way point to Sacramento, so that should put them on track to make it here by tomorrow night. That would be awesome because that means that I only have to be alone TONIGHT. :)

I'm trying really hard to appreciate this time to myself. What sucks is that I feel like I've slipped RIGHT back into the "deployment" and that I do NOT like. :(

At least I worked today and I work tomorrow (the whole reason I didn't get to join the "road trip crew") so that will keep me busy. I think it's extra hard because I don't even have my precious baby to cuddle with :(

I will be SO happy to see them again! I really can't wait. . .

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Veterans Day

Here's a picture of Mercedes at the local Veterans Memorial, I thought it was very sweet:

This song I also found especially moving. Below are the lyrics:

West, on a plane bound west
I see her stretchin’ out below
Land, Blessed Mother Land
The place where I was born
Scars, yeah she’s got her scars
Sometimes it starts to worry me,
‘Cause lose, I don’t wanna lose
Sight of who we are

From the mountains high
To the wave-crashed* coast
There’s a way to find better days I know
It’s been a long hard ride
Got a ways to go
But this is still the place
That we all call home

Free, nothing feels like free
Though it sometimes means we don't get along
Cause same, no we're not the same
But that’s what makes us strong

From the mountains high
To the wave-crashed coast
There’s a way to find better days I know
It’s been a long hard ride
Got a ways to go
But this is still the place
That we all call home

Brave, gotta call it brave
to chase that dream across the sea.
Names, then they signed their names
For something they believed
Red, how the blood ran red
We laid our dead in sacred ground
Just think, wonder what they'd think
If they could see us now

It’s been a long hard ride
Got a ways to go
This is still the place
That we all call home
It’s been a long hard ride
And I won't lose hope
This is still the place
That we all call home.

I couldn't think of a better way to say what I feel. . . "Free, nothing feels like free, though it sometimes means we don't get along, cause same, no we're not the same, but that’s what makes us strong."

I whole heartily agree with this. . . free means that we are FREE to not get along. . . we're not all the same, we're not all MEANT to be the same. There is strength in tolerance and accepting that which is not identical to ourselves.

Also, "It’s been a long hard ride, got a ways to go, this is still the place, that we all call home. It’s been a long hard ride and I won't lose hope, this is still the place that we all call home."

It HAS been a long hard ride. . . our country still has a ways to go. But it's MY home and I will never lose hope that we will continue to grow and change and cultivate love and acceptance in the rest of the world.

<3 America

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Remember, remember the 5th of November. . .

November 5th, 2007

I held hands with the man I loved, looked into his eyes and said "I do."

I missed out on most of the frivolity that most american girls have when they get married, it used to bother me (mostly because of the reason WHY).

I won't get in to all of that now, but this past November 5th was our 4th wedding anniversary. Hard to believe it's been 4 years. . . harder yet to remember than 1 of those entire years was spent away from each other.

Someone said to us that this wasn't really our "4th" anniversary because we didn't get to be together for a whole year. That we'd really only been married for 3 years.

I don't think people realize the amount of work it takes to keep a marriage together with a 12.5 hour time difference, limited communication, and each partner retreating to a lonely bed at night. A frightening number of military marriages do NOT survive. . . and I can see why.

I count myself extremely blessed to have a husband who is so committed to our relationship. Not only did we survive the deployment, we've had a wonderful time resuming life together. So far, it's been far less difficult than I imagined it being.

Right now the difficult thing for me is to not let the anxiety of the scary unknown future get to me. What will happen with Adam's job? Where will we end up? Will bad things happen to us (again) ?

Just gotta relax, take it one day at a time, and enjoy the fact that hubby is here with me every day (easier said than done, to the first three at least!)

I have to say, waking up on November 5th with Adam next to me was the best anniversary present ever :)